I'm drive I can fine osifer
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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