I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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