i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
