glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
