next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
