is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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