Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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