Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
