Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
