Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
