ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
