The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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