Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
