He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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