I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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