he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
