get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
