Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
the day after is always just damage control
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize