He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize