God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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