There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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