No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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