hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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