throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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