Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
