theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
