bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize