i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
