East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She bit a glass in half.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
