And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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