Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
