K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
