Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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