Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
