Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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