oh god the rape fog is back!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
