it hurts more in the daytime
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
