hotel room ftw
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
my nose is crying tears of wow.
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