he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
