I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
