So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Randomize
