Where is the hickey?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
