I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
