I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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