Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
