So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
