my mouth tastes like poor choices
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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