i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
