I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
