Pappa wants mamma naked
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
