I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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