So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize