Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
