i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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